Relationship Counselling Melbourne

Relationship counselling Melbourne can be an invaluable tool for individuals and couples who are struggling and want to develop greater understanding and connection with one another. Take the first step now and invest in your relationship!

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Relationship Counselling Melbourne: Patterns

Relationships can be a major source of comfort, satisfaction, and relief when they are running smoothly and when we feel connected, heard, and validated. However, often we can struggle with relational experiences for a number of different reasons. These relationships might be with friends, colleagues in a workplace, family, our partner, and even the relationship with our self.

Often we might repeat particular dynamics, roles, and patterns with others. For example, we might repeatedly get caught in roles of being the helper or over-functioning. Similarly, we might find ourselves in pursue and distance or power and control dynamics. Furthermore, we might find ourselves detached and isolated from more intimate relationships.

In contrast, we might experience intense rage, feelings of abandonment, or deep mistrust of our partner. Oftentimes, there is a lack of clear communication and assertiveness or an individual may be unsure of their needs and desires within a relationship. In extreme cases people experience domestic violence and abuse at the hands of others. 

Common Relationship Problems

During your first sessions, we will get a full understanding of where you and/or your partner are at in the relationship. Assessment involves exploring the key issues that you might be facing. This is an opportunity for you to discuss your experiences and concerns openly and honestly. As noted above there are numerous problems that we might encounter in our relationships.

  1. Dealing with conflict situations

  2. assertiveness and Conflict

  3. Communication

  4. Emotion regulation

  5. Changing unhealthy cycles

  6. Understanding and changing attachment patterns and styles

  7. Ending or staying in a relationship

  8. Coping with grief and loss following the end of a relationship or an affair.

  9. Domestic violence

Understanding Attachment Styles

Another important component of relationship counselling is to understand our attachment styles. The way we learn to deal with relationships is often influenced by early attachment experiences and relationships. If we grow up in a system where parenting is ‘good enough’ that is attuned, nurturing, and repairing then we are more likely to develop a secure model of attachment.

Secure attachment is when we feel comfortable both seeking out and being in a close intimate relationship and being alone or exploring independently.

However, if an early environment lacks nurturing, is rejecting, or inflicts harm then different internal models and expectancies are developed around connection and relationships.

In some instances individuals might tend to dismiss, avoid, or deactivate intimacy, vulnerability, and emotions associated with close relationships and connections. Closeness might trigger feelings of anxiety and discomfort and result in a strategy to minimize and distance such feelings.

In contrast, others might experience a great source of anxiety/distress in maintaining the relationship/connection and avoiding signs of abandonment or rejection. Paradoxically, this can often be with a partner who is abandoning, absent, or rejecting.  Even when not the case, triggers such as a delayed phone call can escalate feelings of anxiety and issues of trust, cascading a strategy to reduce these feelings such as calling repeatedly. 

For others, where trauma and harm has been inflicted relationships are simply experienced as a source of potential danger and can cause strong fear reactions. By understanding our attachment and relationship style we can begin to make inroads to developing alternative strategies and fostering greater security.

Relationship Counselling Melbourne

The focus of therapy is to assist you to better understand your ways of relating to self and others. This initially involves exploring the particular attachment style, patterns, roles, and dynamics that are engaged in. By fostering greater awareness new emotional, cognitive, and behavioural strategies can be developed.

This might involve regulating emotional arousal and distress or shifting to relating effectively rather than being right, critical, or invalidating. It might involve building greater assertiveness and clarity of communication around needs and expectations. I can help you to assess and then implement new strategies depending on your particular situation. If you are wanting assistance in managing relationship issues feel free to call on 0451 491 395.

Gain New Insights About You and Your Partner

During the counselling process, the focus is often on building insight into ourselves and each other. You’ll learn strategies and methods to communicate more effectively and foster a greater connection. The aim is to feel more empowered and to build a deeper knowledge of yourself, your partner, and your relationship

Make Meaningful Progress as a Couple

At the core of relationship counselling Melbourne is a desire to help couples make meaningful progress together. With guidance, couples are able to solve existing challenges or issues and work on tackling the tough conversations with skilled communication. Difficult topics can go from individual perspectives to shared concerns, leading to greater connection, satisfaction, and resolution. With balanced interaction between partners, arguments become opportunities to learn more about one another.

Learn Ways to Improve Your Relationship

Through relationship counselling, you’ll gain invaluable tips and skills to make your relationship better. From simply understanding the other person’s perspective, to learning ways to improve communication, problem solving and negotiation skills, these are all valuable tools when it comes to strengthening the bond between you and your partner. Learn new strategies for managing arguments, fostering intimacy and improving overall connection.

Develop Better Communication Skills

Good communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. Without it, misunderstandings can lead to frequent arguments that only widen the divide between two people. Through relationship counselling in Melbourne, couples learn how to effectively communicate feelings, opinions and needs in order to nurture healthy relationships. Couples learn valuable tactics such as active listening, empathizing with one another and speaking calmly in difficult conversations. Furthermore, find effective ways to repair ruptures and disagreements so conflict isn’t drawn out. With increased understanding and insight comes greater clarity leading to deeper trust and less conflict.